


you're my comfort

by romanticisinglife



Category: ENHYPEN (Band), I-LAND (Korea TV)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, a dollop of crack writing, and her evil cousin angst, but sit back and enjoy!, don't forget my good sis fluff, jake-pov!!, literally no-one asked, self-indulgent slow burn, uwu whats this self discovery, welcome to my i-land jakehoon au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:29:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26874448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanticisinglife/pseuds/romanticisinglife
Summary: Jake really sucks at feelings.featuring: that STUPID egg, a LOT of tears, even MORE pranks and shenanigans, just these boys doing their best to follow their dreams,and of course, Park Sunghoon.
Relationships: Park Sunghoon & Shim Jaeyoon | Jake, Park Sunghoon/Shim Jaeyoon | Jake
Comments: 23
Kudos: 90





	1. why am i like this

**Author's Note:**

> hi! i'm really missing those unstable friday nights due to i-land, so YES this is my coping mechanism.
> 
> a lot of details and events will be changed for laughs and/or drama and/or uwu feelings so like, yea, lets go lol. 
> 
> i'm serious when i say this will be a slow burn, i mean SLOOOOOW. here for a good AND long time!  
> hope u enjoy, pls ignore any mistakes :((

Jake is the type of person who has to do whatever he puts his mind to.

Why his mind brought him thousands of kilometres away from home, in this building with moving stages, AND light-up walls + floors that are easily worth more than his entire wardrobe AND all his vital organs combined, he doesn’t exactly know. Well, he KNOWS why like… obviously he’s here to become an idol, this is the dream he’s been chasing after for a while now.

But now that he finds himself here in what they call “I-Land”, Jake’s pretty nervous.

Just a bit. A wee bit. A tad nervous. _Who am I kidding, my stomach is doing freaking backflips, what is this, gymnastics?_

Of course he’s nervous. This could be the place where his dream really comes together. Up til this point, Jake’s been pretty lucky. He’s realised what he wants from his life, and he’s been free to pursue his goals. Moving to Korea by himself has been really hard, yeah, but Jake would literally rather die than ever tell anyone that. Across the ocean, his family has been so encouraging, seeming to make a habit of supporting him like it’s an Olympic sport or something. Seriously, the WhatsApp family group chat is just 90% Facebook boomer inspirational quotes from his parents and Jake couldn’t be fonder of them. The other 10% is dedicated to photos of Leila.

Ah, Leila.

He misses Leila the most.

If there is ONE thing Jake dreams of right now (excluding, you know, becoming a Kpop Idol, that’s kinda the entire reason he’s even here), it would be going back to Australia, SOLELY for the purpose of giving Leila belly rubs for being the best golden retriever and family pet to ever walk the face of the earth. He is decidedly NOT one for the dramatics but Leila is straight-up the light of his life. He wishes he had access to his phone right now, honestly, because looking at photos of Leila has been one of his sources of comfort during his toughest days as a trainee thus far. He could use some of that comfort right now.

He’s really just terrified that the hard work and skills he’s put forth might not be enough. Of course, Jake knows thinking like this isn’t worth it and tries to avoid allowing these thoughts from running rampant in his mind, but people all have these fears, right? Deep down?

He just feels like this place will be extremely important to the success of his dream, and honestly, the weight of the situation is really starting to grapple with his mind.

“Uhhh, Jake, are you… ok?” A tap on the shoulder and a nervous smile, wider than the Earth’s circumference draws him out of his thoughts. “You’re looking a bit pale, I won’t even MENTION the stressful energy you’ve been radiating that is honestly going to give ME wrinkles at this rate, I’m very concerned for you and that won’t be good for your OR my expressions NOR will it help our bubbly performance, ok, you know TXT means a lot to me and it’s VERY important we put on a good performance and enjoy ourselves-“

This is Kim Sunoo.

The first friend he’s made during trainee life in Korea and perhaps, the purest embodiment of sunshine this world has ever seen. This boy, unlike Jake, has a real flair for the dramatics, but in the very best way. Thank god they got put in the same subunit for the I-Land audition, his company is so refreshing and comforting in the most unexpected way. Jake knows that Sunoos’ indulgent nagging is just a thinly-veiled pep talk and way to cheer him up, and he really couldn’t be more thankful.

“-So yes, in conclusion, you really have nothing to worry about, we are going to DESTROY the stage with our bubbly faces and positive energy, alright? No more thinking from you, ok, I officially decree thoughts BANNED from your mind for however long we have to sit on these weird box-things.” Jake laughs. Definitely one for the dramatics.

He’s still nervous, sure, but can’t deny the power of Sunoo’s passionate rants. They can DO this.

Being part the first unit to come into I-Land, it means Jake has to really awkwardly sit here and watch as all the other trainees enter.

“I wish the trainees could enter more quickly, this environment is so uncomfortable- I don’t know whether to smile or wave or have a staring contest with the FLOOR when they come in, oh my gosh can we PLEASE hurry this up-“ Jake tries to stifle his laugh as Sunoo frantically whispers in his ear.

The doors open again. Jake glances up to see the next unit as they enter. There’s two of them, but the hallway is so narrow he can only see the one walking in front towards them.

Uhh.

He is intimidating as hELL. The way he holds himself is so fiery and bold, Jake could feel the self-assuredness oozing off of him. He looks up, gaze pointed directly at Jake and Sunoo. The glint in his eyes is powerful and sharp.

Sunoo gulps next to him.

“This is a man on a MISSION” He hears the one of the other trainees murmur off to the side.

Jake has to muster up all the courage in his body to simply maintain eye contact with this guy, and tries desperately to will the corner of his lips to tilt upwards and give a polite smile. Thankfully, it works and the guy nods his head in acknowledgement.

  
Well, that went better than expected.

“+1 for Jake in human interaction, am I right?” Sunoo rolls his eyes.

Seriously though, what an intimidating experience and he’s not even in the same room as the guy yet.

They reach the stage and finally, the other trainee in the subunit steps out into view.

Oh.

Ok. Wow. This boy is also intimidating, perhaps even more so, but in a less outspoken way. If the first guy was a lion, fierce and tumultuous, this one was a panther, intense yet graceful.

Jake doesn’t know where the hell these analogies came from, a.k.a _why is he like this_ , but he can’t deny the truth of them. This boy is very… cold-looking. Not mean, just, cold-looking. He won’t even try to elaborate on what these thoughts mean, he just LOOKS COLD, OK.

Sunoo leans over, once again. “Um. That boy next to Mr. Intimidating… He’s so…freaking…. handsome. LiKE WHAT???” Jake just nods in silent agreement. Look, he can appreciate a nice looking guy, and this one is really handsome, Sunoo’s right.

He looks cool.

Now, the brief moments of non-awkwardness in this room, for Jake at least, have been due to the trainee’s various reactions to the moving stage. Earlier on, this one trainee, K, had this look of pure SHOCK on his face when the stage started moving. Everyone could have a laugh about it with each other, and Jake is really hoping that once these stressful auditions are over, they can all have a friendlier atmosphere like that. It might sound weird, but he really wants to make friends here.

So he, and all the other trainees anticipate how these two really intimidating guys will react when the stage starts moving.

The stage starts moving.

_And neither of them budge a SINGLE inch. They don’t even BLINK._

“Wow, they’re really so cool.” The trainees murmur amongst themselves.

“Seriously, what the HELL, their composure, COULDN’T BE ME. _COULD NOT. BE ME._ ” Everyone laughs at K’s statement, even the two trainees on the stage, finally breaking their cold demeanours.

Huh.

That panther boys’ smile is kinda nice.

_Woah, uh, haha what?_

Ummmm, Jake chooses to ignore whatever that thought was.

Seeing them both smile though, gives Jake an idea. He definitely wants to make them laugh more. Maybe even prank them in some way, in the future of course. Especially the fierce trainee, that would be fun, he thinks.

They finally reach the section where all the trainees were seated, and immediately make their way over to sit down. NEXT to Jake. _Oh god_. The trainee with the _okay_ -he-admits-it’s-a-pretty-smile sits next to Jake, and the trainee with the if-looks-could-kill-type-glare sits on that guys’ other side.

Sunoo leans over again. “Good luck, don’t look into either of their eyes for too long!! You might turn to stone ooOooooOoo-“ Jake lets out a little giggle before turning to his right. Uhh, why does the fiery, intimidating trainee look like he’s ready to deliver a speech, what’s going on?

“Hey, you don’t know us yet, but you can trust us. Seriously.” The trainee addresses everyone in the room, with a sheepish smile.

“ _Omg ok I didn’t really think you’d say it dude this is so embarrassing, SIT DOWN-_ “ His fellow subunit member hisses at him, trying to pull him by the jacket to sit down.

“That sounds like something someone untrustworthy would say, HAHAHAHA-” Jake says, before he and the other trainees burst out into laughter.

Is that…. embarrassment he sees on the guys face right now? Oh my god, what a plot twist.

“Yah, anyways. I’m just trying to make the atmosphere here less tense. Seriously, you guys all look so stressed, you know? Like, relax your shoulders, what is this? You could strain a muscle when you perform!” Is he NAGGING everyone right now? Wow, the lion is more surprising with every passing second.“Anyways,” Looking over at Jake, he lowers his voice, “what’s up? Call me Jay. You will forget EVERYTHING I just said for the sake of my own dignity. Thank you.”

The trainee next to Jay snickers. “You say this as if you aren’t the CEO of the circus, pack it up CLOWN, I’ve not seen this so-called dignity in the two years we’ve trained together. You’re still cool though, don’t worry-”

Jay looks SCANDALIZED. Furious too, but in the same way a small dog gets agitated quickly. Seriously, what is this change in energy, _huh_??!?!!

The cool trainee ignores Jay’s betrayed expression, finally turning to face Jake. Honestly, yep, uh, this guy just looks so cool. Like, icy, almost? But he has such a warm-looking smile on his face right now. He also can’t forget the way he can dish out a roast, seriously, Jay just got TORCHED at the hands of this guy. He’d probably be so much fun to hang out with. Jake hopes they can become friends, somehow.

“Hi. I’m Sunghoon. Nice to meet you.” Wow, ok, Jake wasn’t expecting this serious…. (almost shy?) tone after how Sunghoon just flamed Jay, but he won’t lie, he is ALSO super awkward around new people and just hopes he doesn’t screw up HIS part in this introduction process.

_Introduction process?_ Is this an interview?? Ok, this seriously IS NOT THAT DEEP. Just be cool. Please, Jake, just be cool.

“Uhh, hey! My name is Jake. It’s nice to meet you as well. You looked so cool walking in! I totally fumbled everything once the stage started moving, but thankfully none of the other units were here to witness that humiliating moment for me.” He chuckles nervously.

“Sounds like a missed opportunity to get you back for calling me untrustworthy, Jake! I will not be forgetting this, you just wait, I’m going to catch you doing something embarrassing and you will simply NOT EVER hear the end of it from me, I promise to you now I can and WILL talk about it for 3-5 business days without taking a BREATH.” Jay looks determined. Jake and Sunghoon just laugh him off.

“Yah, how long have you been telling ME the same thing? Yet look at where we are, Jay. Don’t worry, Jake, this is just who he is. You’re safe from his HARMLESS wrath,” Sunghoon pats Jake on the back. “you can _trust me on that._ ” Sunghoon wiggles his eyebrows as Jay scowls in the background. Jake just laughs. These guys seem awesome. He can’t wait to hang out with them more if he gets through.

A loud, booming voiceover starts blaring through the speakers all around the room. “ _Applicants. Welcome, to I-Land. The audition process will begin now. You will be performing your prepared song together with your subunit, but graded individually. Those responsible for whether or not you will pass into I-Land are…… your fellow applicants, by tally vote. There are 12 spots in I-Land. Only 12 trainees can be in I-Land at any time. If this number is exceeded, you will need to re-vote and eliminate the extra number of trainees._

TWELVE? Jake looks around and does a quick tally of the number of trainees in the room.

23 in total.

So 11 won’t get in.

Ok, this just got a WHOLE lot realer.

_“Trainees Jay and Sunghoon, you will be performing first. Step onto the stage.”_

Jake looks over at them, expecting some sort of shocked expression, but it’s as he’s looking at the two intimidating trainees from afar again. They don’t look at all concerned, instead wearing determined expressions before standing up. _Wow, their duality is insane, what the heck.._

_“_ They don’t even look nervous at ALL, wow. They’re gonna not only destroy the stage, but demolish it, then construct it again from scratch, JUST to completely obliterate it again, I-“ Thank the universe for Sunoo’s dramatic self, seriously. Jake agrees, though. Something about them just seems on another level.

They make their way over to the stage, and get into position.

The stage dims the lights, leaving Jay and Sunghoon in the dark.

Suddenly, the wall behind them flashes red, leaving the two trainees as dark silhouettes against a blood-red backdrop.

Then the music starts.

It’s the 7th Sense by NCT. This song is SO cool, Jake’s had it as a staple in his vibe playlist ever since he first heard it. When was that, like 8…9 months ag- _huh._

_They start to move_.

Immediately, Jake feels as if he’s in some sort of trance. Jay moves with this sharpness that could wound someone, so intense Jake almost can’t focus on anything else.

Almost.

His eyes scan over to Sunghoon and suddenly, nothing can rip his gaze away. His movements feel laced with fluidity in every limb. It’s… so cool. He radiates this smoothness that, by all things fair and logical in this world, should fall apart when paired with the fierceness of his fellow performer, but Jake feels as if it only enhances their performance. This is sick as hell.

**Chaggun sesame du nuneul gamgo**

**Chimdaee nuwo du gwireul makgo**

**Eojega oneul tto oneuli eoje**

**Ttaeneuieun iachaekman gadeukhan chae**

Jake hears Jay begin to rap part of the song. It’s deep and intense, there’s so much passion on every word he raps and yet all he can see is.. Sunghoon..? The way he almost glides through the routine, with what looks like so little effort but so much grace… Jake respects him so much and they only met like 5 minutes ago? He wishes he could perform like this.

**We’ll take it slow**

**Oh**

_Oh shit. Was that Sunghoon’s VOICE?_

Jake doesn’t swear often, those words never really feel right on his tongue but he can’t project his thoughts properly right now. He’s captivated.

**Gateun kkum machi nal bureuneun**

**Iksukhan norae machimnae yeongyeoldwae**

His voice is… amazing.

**Open your eyes, joyonghi open your eyes**

**(joyonghi open your eyes)**

**Open your eyes, ijeneun open your eyes**

**(Ijeneun open your eyes)**

**Open your eyes, joyonghi open your eyes**

**(joyonghi open your eyes)**

**Open your eyes, ijeneun open your eyes**

**(Ijeneun open your eyes)**

He honestly can’t believe what he’s seeing or hearing. It’s as if Jake is watching Yin and Yang itself, manifested in the form of this otherworldly performance. Jays’ sharp dance and intense rap, Sunghoons’ smooth vocals and graceful movements, this dichotomy between their styles of performing is so gripping. He still can’t even bring himself to look anywhere else than directly at the way Sunghoon expresses the choreography with so much… like…. elegance? How does he do this on such a powerful song?

Well, he’s making it in for sure, Jake thinks (and hopes. After all, he’s sure Sunghoon is chasing after a similar dream to him). Jay as well, they both seriously deserve it with how they just consumed the stage.

The music stops, Sunghoon and Jay in their final pose, backs turned away from the trainees. Silence. Jake finally dares to look away from the stage, only to find the others in JUST as much awe as he is. Jaws are dropped, eyes shining…. did Jake just see Geonu mouthing ‘wtf’? Honestly, relatable.

“What do we do…. Oh my gosh that was so good, they’re so much better than me-“ Sunoo pouts after murmuring in Jake’s ear.

Jake just nods. What can he even say to that?

_“Applicants, it’s time to vote. If Park Sunghoon deserves to enter into I-Land, please raise your hand now.”_

Jake raises his hand immediately, without hesitation. Almost violently fast, if he’s honest. He might have hurt his arm a little by how quickly he did that, actually. Whoops.

The other trainees seem to hesitate, looking around first before raising their own hands.

_“Applicant Park Sunghoon…”_

He holds his breath.

Why does this almost feel as if it’s his own neck on the line?

He looks up to the stage to see Sunghoon appearing almost frozen in place, expression solemn but, there’s the smallest inkling of fear in his eyes.

“… _is in I-Land.”_

Sunghoon’s face _glows_ with just the smallest of smiles.

Jake can’t help but do the same, after all, it’s a sweet moment to witness, watching someone take a step closer towards their dream. Jake hopes he can take that same leap towards his goals too. But he feels some sort of gravitational pull to root for Sunghoon. Whatever his goals are, well, BEYOND just becoming an idol, that’s very obviously why they’re ALL here. But like… what’s behind that goal? Jake can’t help but be curious.

_Why am I feeling so invested?_

He wants to befriend Sunghoon. Various jokes and pranks are blossoming in his mind all at once, hoping to make him laugh. He just really wants to see that smile again.

_But I have to follow him into I-Land first._


	2. get it together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiya again! we finally have an enhypen fandom name! vroom vroom skrt skrt fellow engenes <3
> 
> this is so long, sorry, i'm still tryna suss a decent chapter length. hope this is worth the wait!! 
> 
> pls let me know ur thoughts in the comments, it's rly sweet hearing from yall :D

One by one, the other subunits perform. Jake has two thoughts on his mind right now.

  1. So uh, the standard of these performances is through the freaking roof, haha. _yikes_
  2. And of course, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA



Seriously, the atmosphere in the room has warped into something that feels almost reminiscent of “The Hunger Games” for some weird reason, there’s so much pressure everywhere. Jake sees it on the applicants’ faces as they perform, on the other trainees’ faces as they sneak glances at each other before casting their vote…

To be honest, this audition process really sucks. There’s so much weight riding on that simple decision of whether or not to just raise his hand when that booming voiceover asks if someone DESERVES to be in I-Land. Who is he to choose that? He just feels awful about it all.

Jakes’ spirit really fell through his body, sunk into the floor, morphed through the ground and dug its own grave (ok, Sunoo _must_ be rubbing off on him because WHAT is this thought process) when Hanbin was the first trainee to not be voted into I-Land. It really doesn’t matter if he doesn’t know him personally yet, it was just so rough to watch.

“ _Trainees Jake, Sunoo and Youngbin-_ ”

HUH? Is it already their turn? Jake scans the room. _Oh right, literally EVERYONE else has performed, ok, yes, this is fine. Let’s make an attempt to not panic, Jake, you can do this._

His knees really won’t stop shaking though. “My heart is about to explode, I never thought we would perform last, haha..” Jake fades out awkwardly. He’s trying (and failing, hard) to distract himself from how unfavourable the current situation is for them. There’s already 13 trainees who made it into I-Land, it’s as if they’re auditioning for spots that don’t even exist.

“Really though, lets just try to have fun, yea? We prepared so hard for this… we have to do our best or else we’ll regret it.”

“Youngbin… wow…. the motivational speaker in you just JUMPED out-” Sunoo wipes away a fake tear and smirks. “I agree though! We should just do our best, you know, and try to give a performance everyone will enjoy! This room could really use some serotonin right now, anyway. We have nothing to lose!” He whispers excitedly.

_“-Please step onto the stage.”_

It’s time to go. Jake stands up, ready to follow Sunoo and Youngbin to perform. “Psst-“ He jumps a little, startled by the sound. Turning back to face the culprit of his scare, Jake sees Sunghoon mutters under his breath. “Good luck.” He makes a fist and shakes it tinily, wearing an even tinier smile on his face.

Oh, my god.

Jake really has no choice but to grin back stupidly at that. Perhaps for a little bit too long.

He manages to just simply nod in response before forcibly ripping his gaze away and turning back around. _That was so nice of him_. He makes his way into position on stage alongside his subunit members. Bringing his mind back onto their performance, honestly, these two are right. He just needs to focus on enjoying what they do and putting on a good show. The song they prepared is like, the cutest bop ever, so Jake really needs to go hard on the bright expressions and bubbly energy, there’s no room for his angst right now.

Refreshing songs like this aren’t really something he’d usually gravitate towards, simply because it kinda clashes with that skater boy aesthetic he’s known for. Does that stop him from having it right at the top of his secret playlist though?

Yes, secret playlist. Everyone has one. Right?

Look.

He’s not ASHAMED of kpop, not by a long shot. He has nothing against those fun, upbeat songs either. He could admit with ease to the world right now that yes, Crown by TXT is a certified tune. But there’s definitely a playlist that one shows the world and a playlist one keeps for himself, right? Is that not normal?

No but literally why is he thinking like this, please… _Jake, you have a potentially life-changing performance to do, get it TOGETHER._

The song starts. Every limb in his body springs to life as he dances, muscle memory kicking in from all those hours in the practice room.

He tries to focus more on the feeling of the song. Jake remembers his shock when reading the lyrics for the first time. Despite Crown sounding the way that it does, a.k.a almost _infectiously_ fun and happy, the lyrics are really unexpectedly bittersweet.

**_You, who’s staring at me blankly in the mirror_ **

**_Is not me (YA YA YA)_ **

**_Dizzy headaches and_ **

**_Something on my head_ **

It describes this very weird yet relatable feeling, Jake thinks. He hopes he can deliver that bubbly yet kinda awkward lyric about not really being able to recognise yourself or what you’re becoming, or maybe not even wanting to. He’s not really sure why it resonates with him so much.

**Wanna run away, wanna disappear**

**Far away (YA YA YA)**

**(Save me) Who am I?**

**I don’t know who I am oh**

As Sunoo sings, Jake steals a glance at the trainees watching their performance. The happy energy of the song really seems to be working its magic, since he’s greeted with shy smiles and awkward grins everywhere from the little audience they have. _This is SO much nicer than before._

When it comes down to it, Jake really just wants to make people happy… this is probably his favourite thing about performing in general. This is what he trains for, this is why he’s here.

**My body must have gone mad**

**_There's a horn coming out of my head_ **

**_What do I do? I don't know how to stop it_ **

**Oh, I'm the only bad thing in this world**

**Save me, maybe I have turned into a monster**

**Got no one but you**

It’s honestly not easy to keep up the bright smiles and energetic dancing if he thinks about these lyrics too much.

**(Who you?)**

**Are you my salvation who found me deserted?**

Perhaps this is the first part of the song where Jake sees why they made it sound so happy.

**_(Who you?)_ **

**_Are your wings the same pain like mine?_ **

To find someone who really _really_ understands you, to take comfort in those things you’re struggling with… yeah. This is his favourite lyric. Jake can’t think of a single thing more comforting than these words, he just wants to convey that as best he can right now.

**There's a horn rising up on my head**

**But I love it**

**You become my crown**

**The sensation of going pit-a-pat**

That burst of joy when the chorus hits, he hopes it can capture them.

**My heart is mayhem**

**But I love it**

He really wants to make it in. He hopes he’s enough.

**_We have finally become perfect_ **

**_The two of us, us, us_ **

He wants this with his whole heart.

The song ends, Jake and his members in the same position they started in. The next few moments are really a blur to him, there’s some clapping, someone pats him on the back (probably Sunoo, now that he thinks about it, it’s logistically impossible for ANY of the others applicants to do that from across a MOVING stage huh), and suddenly he finds himself standing in line, directly facing the 20 applicants deciding his fate. He tilts his head downward and squeezes his eyes shut to an almost aggressive extent, _because yea I really cannot handle looking at ANYONE right now so I will simply pretend I do not see it._

Yes, this is fine.

_“If Kim Sunoo deserves to enter into I-Land, please raise your hand now.”_

Well, Jake can’t really see anything, but like… he would low-key throw fists if he were to open his eyes right now and not see everyone’s hands in the air. Sunoo BODIED that performance and he deserves a place in I-Land more than anything.

Silence.

…

Ok, this voiceover really seems to enjoy dragging things out.

_“Kim Sunoo…..”_

…

_Why is it taking 34 years for this announcer to complete this one sentence?? Please?????_

_“…..gets into I-Land.”_ There we go. As he should, Jake thinks.

Youngbin also gets voted in. As he should - the REMIX, part 2, he thinks.

Oh yikes ok, now it’s his turn.

His eyes are staying FIRMLY shut, he really can’t bear to see this.

_“If Jake deserves to enter enter into I-Land, please raise your hand now.”_

The nerves in every fibre of his body have seemed to make a reappearance! Great!

He feels sick. He can’t look.

Silence. He really shouldn’t look.

What feels like the longest stretch of silence known possible to humankind is occurring right now though. Hmm, maybe he should take just one little peek…

He dares to subtly open his eyes to quickly scan the room.

And makes dead-on eye contact with Sunghoon, who just raises an eyebrow at him.

Ok.

It is safe to say Jake shut his eyes almost violently fast. That was embarrassing. He didn’t even see anything else.

At least Sunghoon’s hand was in the air.

_“Jake……”_

Ok, the moment of truth. He internally begs the voiceover to not drag this out, please.

Silence.

…

More silence, oh my gosh Jake is about to SCREAM out of suspense-

_“….gets into I-Land.”_

oh.

OH.

He lets out a breath that he didn’t know he was holding.

Sunoo and Youngbin bombard him immediately to indulge in a very sweet, albeit embarrassing group hug in front of everyone. 

They all made it in. He really hopes they can stay together in I-Land.

The stage moves once again, taking them back to where all the other applicants are seated.

Ok, he really needs to say something normal in order to not clown himself for that awkward moment with Sunghoon before. He sits down and turns to them, armed with a flustered smile.

“I was so thankful when you voted for us-” Sunghoon lets out what is perhaps the most awkward sounding laugh Jake’s ever heard. Ok, so they’re both embarrassed from earlier, that’s comforting to know, at least Jake isn’t the only one. “-no, really, thank you so much. When you raised your hand-“ He fades off, unsure of how to finish his sentence.

“We voted for you because you did well.” Sunghoon mutters, looking at the floor. Jay, suddenly becoming the least embarrassing person in this situation, just nods in agreement.

Jake smiles. These guys are really genuine.

Sunoo clutches at his arm suddenly, turning him back.

“I can’t believe this… I really can’t.” He covers his mouth, one of his biggest habits, Jake has noticed. Sunoo is almost like a character out of an anime with his expressions, really, and it comes out the most when he’s shocked or surprised. Some of the faces he makes, seriously, this boy could be a reaction meme template if someone captured these expressions on camera.

“We did our best.” Youngbin smiles, ever-the-comforting brother in their unit.

_“The entrance exam for I-Land is over. Those who have passed may enter the gate and proceed to I-Land.”_

Ok, so, Jake really thought the moving stage was the most overwhelmingly expensive thing he’d lay his eyes on today, or even for the next few months because it is, and he cannot stress this enough, a literal. moving. stage. They really used a stage as a mode of transportation, seriously who even thinks of that?

But I-Land really proved him wrong in about 2 seconds.

Him and the 15 other trainees literally entered I-Land in a gold, massive rotating egg. What. On Earth. Like, just a straight-up egg. Jake truly had no words, zero thoughts, head empty.

That doesn’t even get him started on the colossal kitchen and pantry space, or the two massive training rooms, OR the really extra balcony that he hopes to use often, it’s so pretty.

But there’s more important things on his mind right now.

“Seriously, what are we going to do? I can’t even choose what I want to eat for dinner and now they want me to pick people to vote out of I-Land?? That’s so cruel..” Sunoo pouts and crosses his arms.

“Yah, seriously. I was wondering in what way or by what standard we’d eliminate the extra four, but just straight up voting again, not even aided with an extra performance? What new merit do we base our choices off of then? We ALREADY voted everyone here as being worthy of being here. This is seriously ridiculous and it sucks. It really sucks.” Jay rants. Everyone nods. It’s just their two subunits (Sunoo, Jake and Youngbin, + Jay and Sunghoon) here right now, sat in a circle on the floor of the training room. “AND we have two WHOLE hours to really let our minds stew over it as well. Look over there, the countdown is mocking me, flashing in my face on that RIDICULOUS egg. Seriously, it is clear the creators of the show want me to suffer. That is the ONLY explanation for all of this mess.” Jay continues, passionately waving his hands around everywhere as he rants.

“You know what, Jay, you might have to take on Sunoo in a rant or debate sometime. I can and WILL pay to see that go down.” Jake tries to lighten the atmosphere a little.  
  
Jay smirks. “I’d win, no fight.”

“Yeah, I’d place my bets on Jay, did you just hear that rant?” Sunghoon chimes in, holding back a laugh.

“HMPH. Well, at least I have faith in my skill, someday you’ll see.” Sunoo crosses his arms and sticks his nose up. “Anyways, I need a cheeky bathroom break. Youngbin, please come with me because I still don’t remember where anything is and as my fellow subunit member AND older than me, it is your responsibility to make sure I don’t go missing here.” He grabs Youngbin and they’re off and away in a flash.

“Hmm. Should I make you responsible for everything I do because you’re older?” Sunghoon quirks an eyebrow at Jay. “Sunoo has a good way of thinking, I think I’ll use that method to get you to help me do stuff from now on.”

“NOPE. That doesn’t even work in our case because we’re born in the same year, seriously Sunghoon, your mind, truly, what goes on?” Jay retorts, dumbfounded.

Jake perks up at this news. “Oh? When were you guys born? Maybe I have the chance to use Sunoo’s logic as well…. Do I have two personal servants in front of me right now?” He smirks.

“02’ Line. Personally I think it’s the best year to be born.” Jay says.

“Yea, me too, something about it just screams excellence, huh.” Sunghoon nods in agreement.

“You’re kidding. ME TOO. November, of course, a little cool down before Christmas and chill after Halloween!” Jake adds on for absolutely no reason, but they seem receptive so it’s fine. “I mean, I’m devastated I’ll have to look elsewhere for my servant needs but, this is cool! I believe in 02’ Line supremacy-” Jake gives a little clap for the all-powerful achievement of being born in the same year, truly a difficult feat, right?

“Wait, you’re older than me??? No way, you’re almost like a puppy or something…” Sunghoon looks genuinely offended at this revelation. Jay just laughs and slaps him on the back.

“Well, what do you want me to do about that, Sunghoon? Just go ahead and change when I was born?” Jake asks with a playful smile, enjoying the banter.

“Nah, it’s ok, you don’t have to do that for me. I just thought you were younger because you’re so tiny. I could fit you in my pocket, you know?” Sunghoon smirks. Jays’ eyes go wide before he breaks into fit of laughter.

Oh. _He did NOT just say that._

“WHAT? Stand up right now.” Jake points at Sunghoon, challenging him. To be honest, this could backfire, Jake is not tall and he knows this.

Jake and Sunghoon stand up together.

Ok.

This backfired.

Jay is practically rolling on the floor.

“Sigh.” This is, to say the VERY least, humiliating.

“Let’s stand back to back, Jake!! Compare our heights in the mirror, hmm?” Sunghoon sounds SO smug right now, oh my gosh Jake is never going to live this down, is he…

Although it is already painfully obvious Sunghoon is taller, they go and stand back to back anyways. Jake looks at their reflections in the mirror, more specifically at Sunghoon. Physically speaking, he guesses there really isn’t that much difference in their heights. But Sunghoon is a very… elegant-looking person, like the energy he radiates is very… tall?

Jake truly cannot make sense of his thoughts sometimes.

“What is this? Prepare for trouble and make it double? We’ve established Sunghoon is taller, why are y’all still posing like this, truly embarrassing.” Jay cuts in, seeming to have finally recovered from his cackling session on the ground.

Jake pulls away first and sits down, Sunghoon quickly joining, the three of them forming a small circle. The countdown on the egg catches Jake’s eye once more.

Oh right, the re-eliminations…

“I really don’t know what I’m going to do… I feel so awful just thinking about having to vote people out of I-Land, not to mention any of us, probably me, could also be eliminated too..” Jake says, head in his hands. He doesn’t like how this makes him feel as if he has to really judge the other trainees, and off only one performance as well. It feels unfair to everyone involved.

“Yeah, I’m really struggling with this as well.” Jay sighs. “If it’s any help to you, I’m trying to think and vote with the mindset of what a good group would look like.” He motions for all of them to huddle closer, linking his arms around Jake and Sunghoon’s shoulders. They both follow suit. “I hope we can all stay here.”

“Me too, but did we really just make an off-brand prayer circle, what is this?” Sunghoon laughs, making fun of the moment.

Jake chuckles. Sure, Sunghoon says this, acting like he’s too cool for this sentimentality, mocking the moment and rolling his eyes…

Yet he also knows that that’s DEFINITELY Sunghoons’ hand he feels pressed onto his back right now…. rubbing small circles there and softly patting it….

_He’s very comforting._

_Thanks._ He mouths to Sunghoon. The boy just smiles back.

Yeah.  
Jake really wants to stay here.

So everyone is gathered in the entrance again, facing that ginormous egg as the countdown finally hits 00:00.

Jake felt horrible making his votes, even going off of Jay’s fairly objective advice, it didn’t really help. He can’t escape that feeling that it’s almost like holding someone’s dream in your hands, and choosing whether to hold it or throw it away.

_“Applicants. As you know, 12 is the maximum number of trainees that can be in I-Land at any one time. Four of you have been voted out and will be leaving I-Land today…”_

It’s really happening. Please don’t let it be any of his friends. Please don’t let it be him.

_“Sungchul….”_

He really feels so awful for these guys.

_“EJ….”_

Hopefully this isn’t the end for them.

_“Ta-ki…”_

Maybe he’ll get to see them again. He’d really like to be friends with everyone…

_“…and Kim Sunoo.”_

Sorry, WHAT?

Jake looks over at the boy, whose eyes are downcast, shoulders slumped. No. Seeing Sunoo sad is genuinely so devastating, this is like watching the sun being swallowed by a dark storm cloud.

He immediately goes over to him.

“This really is the worst… it doesn’t make any sense.” Jake pulls him into a hug. “But you know what, you’re definitely going to come back. I just know it. You’re too talented to not come back.” Sunoo nods softly.

“Yeah. I’ll be back soon though! Don’t worry too much, you’ll get wrinkles. Hmm, I wanted to debate Jay as well… but I guess that’ll have to wait, hmph.” Sunoo pouts. Jake just laughs, this guy really always tries to keep that high energy even in the worst of times.

_“It’s time for the eliminated applicants to leave.”_

They make their way over to the egg, turning around and waving back at him and the other trainees left in I-Land.

“Goodbyeee! We’ll come back, this won’t be the last of us you’ve seen!” Sunoo yells. The egg spins, and Jake loses sight of the eliminated trainees.

He puts his head in his hands. He really can’t believe this, Sunoo was the one who basically taught him how to get through that performance… How can Jake be standing here while he’s gone?

He feels someone walk up to stand beside him. He looks to his right. Sunghoon…?

“Hey, are you… like…. ok?” The boy asks, suddenly staring holes into the floor, fidgeting with his hands, seeming as if he’s trying to decide on something. “I know Sunoo’s like, your good friend, I’m sorry he didn’t get to stay.” Sunghoon mutters. After a moment, he brings his hand up to rub Jake’s back softly. “Yeah, haha, I don’t really know what I’m saying, I kinda suck at this whole comforting thing if you can’t tell.. But he’ll come back, for sure. I just hope you’re alright.” He finishes off awkwardly.

Jake’s heart swells a little.

_You're so considerate, really… I don’t even know what to say.._

_I don’t even know how, but you really took this extra weight off my mind._

“Thank you..really….” Jake manages to breathe out. “This helps. You’re helping.” He smiles, hoping that’s enough to get his point across.

“Yeah.” Sunghoon smiles warmly. “WAIT, I’ve got an idea. Uh, will you help suss out the pantry with me? I know all of us looked earlier, but I really wanna take a better look at these snacks, and I think you’re the perfect person to bounce my food ideas off of. Perfect to get your mind off of everything as well.” He says excitedly, probably the most excited Jake’s seen him, and it’s because of food? _Felt that._

Jake nods. “Oh my god, you’re right. I think I saw like 4 different types of soda in the fridge… We need to utilise the drinks as well.”

“Time to use food and drinks as a coping mechanism for today’s stress, I think.” Sunghoon laughs.

“Let’s go!” They both start running off together towards the kitchen.

Youngbin and Jay watch them as the other trainees start to scatter.

“Look at those two go. Just like little kids or something-“ Youngbin laughs.

Jay just shakes his head. “Why do I feel like I’M the one who’s just lost my partner? It’s only been one day and they’re practically inseparable already!” He’s glad though. It’s usually so hard for Sunghoon to meet new people. Seriously! He gets so shy. It took like… months for him to even WARM UP to Jay and have this kind of banter, if he’s being honest with himself.

And yet he already looks so comfortable with Jake.

Jay smiles. Good for them, he thinks.


	3. hopeless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiya guys! sorry 4 the wait :(( a bit of a shorter fluff chapter but i'll update quickly for the next one !  
> this is kinda just some self indulgent crack moments and like 0.0001 depth and u know what, THAT'S OK! <33
> 
> again, any thoughts+feelings dont be shy 2 comment below! this is my first fic so i'm still figuring stuff out so any feedback is greatly appreciated !! hope u guys enjoy :))

Ok, so there are exactly 12 chairs at the dining table.

And 12 pairs of chopsticks. 12 forks. 12 knives. 12 spoons.

And 12 cups.

They really went ALL OUT on this _only 12 I-Landers_ concept, huh. Gotta love their commitment, Jake thinks.

“Alright, first things first. I think we should figure out how we’re going to sort the rooming.” One guy sitting opposite him says, everyone at the table nodding silently as they eat dinner.“I personally think it’d be a good way to get to know each other if we room with people outside our subunit.”

“Press pause.” Jay interrupts. “Heeseung, weren’t you in a subunit by yourself? Isn’t LITERALLY EVERYONE here a person outside your subunit?” He points out, laughing and smacking the table. Sunghoon and a few other trainees laugh as well, whilst the boy named Heeseung just sticks his tongue out at Jay.

_I feel like some of these guys know each other really well. There’s just like… a very comfortable aura here._

_Also surely Jay wouldn’t just flame someone like that if he doesn’t know them because AAAAAAA-_

“Um.. excuse me..” A babyfaced boy speaks up a little, pouting before continuing, “..aren’t we getting ahead of ourselves a little bit..?”

 _This boy is.. tiny_.

In all honesty, this boy might actually end up being the same height as Jake if they were to stand up and compare right now, but that’s genuinely irrelevant. The energy he radiates, is tiny. Why does Jake feel this innate need to put him in his pocket?? Who knows?????

“It’s just that.. I don’t really remember everyone’s names yet, can’t we do a little introduction game or something… I think that’d be pretty sweet…” The boy finishes quietly.

Ok, he makes a good point. Actually, Jake is fairly certain he voted this boy in earlier, but for some reason his mind becomes very vacant when he tries to think of his name.

Jake really isn’t bad at remembering names though! Really.

But like, a reminder wouldn’t hurt.

“I agree! A lot of us don’t know each other yet as well so, it’d be a good idea.” He adds on.

Everyone around the table nods.

“Ok! Yeah, it’s good.” Heeseung starts. “Um, how about we go around and tell each other our names and like… a fun fact about ourselves? Actually no, nothing about those are ever fun, BLEUGH-“ He cringes. “Just anything, like something that’s on your mind, or maybe a song you like? I don’t know, lets just start first.”

Jake starts trying to think of something he can tell about himself to the group. It needs to be something not embarrassing or oversharing, but like still interesting. _The way I cannot seem to remember a single thing about myself right now, please, brain, process a singular thought for me.. why can’t I even remember any of my hobbies or interests, it’s a wonder I even remember my own name…_

The babyfaced boy speaks up from before. “Hello, everyone. I’m Jungwon. Um, I can’t really think of anything to say but my friends say my dimples are pretty cool!” He gives a big smile, revealing huge dimples on either side of his mouth. “I don’t know if that counts as a fun fact. UM, oh WAIT no, I did taekwondo when I was younger too! So like, don’t mess with me hehehe-“

The entire table breaks into “aww’s” and “ooo’s”, and Jake is definitely joining in because this guy is adorable. Jungwon must be protected.

“Wah, so cute as always, Jungwonie-“ Heeseung grabs at Jungwons’ cheeks and starts pinching them.

_OK._

_Well, they DEFINITELY know each other as well._

“Lets go clockwise from Jungwon since he started us off?” Heeseung suggests.

“Dude, AGAIN. We can tell you’re just saying this because you’re on the OTHER side of Jungwon and want to avoid your turn, you’re not SLICK-“ Jay rolls his eyes. “Anyways, yeah lets just do that order, it doesn’t bother me-“

Jake looks over at the next boy sitting next to Jungwon.

Even from sitting down, this guy looks.. insultingly tall?

_Oh, am I going to be one of the shortest guys here?_

_Does this mean Sunghoon was right?_

_Am I… tiny?_

_Nah, he’s just playing, I’m literally average height. He was clearly just joking around before._

Jake looks over at Sunghoon, sitting on the opposite side of the table.

He catches the boys’ eye, who just stares for a moment, before mouthing “What?” to him.

“I’m not tiny”, he mouths back, squinting his eyes in the process. This is VERY irrelevant to what’s currently going on, yes, Jake understands that. But he needs to get the point across now.

Sunghoon seems to understand, stifling a laugh behind his hand. “Yes, you ARE-“, he mouths back.

“Dude, I’m NOT-“

  
“You ARE-“

“I’m NO-dude OW??“ Jay cuts him off, kicking him under the table and assumedly Sunghoon as well (based off his reaction - the guy looks in PAIN and PISSED OFF). “Why are you guys choosing to do this? Right in front of me and my salad??” He hisses under his breath.

“Those are literally instant noodles, what do you mean-“ Sunghoon says.

“Omg, it’s a figure of sPEECH, seriously… hopeless. Both of you. Now, shut your mouths and open your ears for the other guys.”

Sunghoon wiggles his eyebrows at Jake, mouthing “tiny” before turning away again.

Well.

_Wow. That was really. Yeah. I don’t know._

_Cute._

He needs to push these thoughts out of his mind. Like.. what does he mean, cute?

Sigh.

Jake tunes in, hearing K, Seon and Ni-kis’ introductions. They’re all pretty cool, he reckons they can all vibe well.

Youngbin introduces himself next. He-

Wait.  
Youngbin is sitting next to him.

WAIT.

It’s his turn now? How does he keep losing track of time like this???

Everyone looks at him expectantly.

“Um, hey! My name is Jake. I didn’t think of anything in advance…. Uh….” He says awkwardly, running his fingers through his hair, like he always does when he’s stressed or doesn’t know what to do, or sometimes it just needs fixing or- YEAH, ok it’s a habit. His mum hates when he does this, actually. Always lecturing like “Jake, if you keep doing that your hairline is going to RECEDE just like Prince William or something, please stop. Do you want to be bald?”

Ok, he’s going way off track here.

 _Just say anything at this point._ “Um, yeah! So I’m still getting used to speaking Korean all the time, honestly…it’s hard to think of the right thing to say off the bat… it’s a bit of a mess and my parents roast me over my writing and spelling pretty much all the time….“ Everyone laughs.

“Yah, you’re not special, my mum roasts ME all the time too-“ Jay adds on.

Heeseung starts cackling. “HAHAHHA Jay, why would you admit to that so openly, I-“

“Wait.. so you’re not Korean, Jake?” Jungwon’s eyes are blown wide and curious.

“Oh! No, I am, but I lived in Australia for like… my whole life before coming here to train. I’ve been here like.. 9 months? So yea, still getting used to it..”

“Ooooh, speak some English for us then!! Australian accents are cool.” K chips in. The others nod and agree, all leaning in closer and looking at Jake with fascination, like he’s some sort of science experiment.

_Well, this is not how I expected things to go._

“Um, ok. **I’m so happy to be here. You guys seem cool and I really look forward to making friends with all of you.** ” He smiles.

Everyone starts gushing.

“Wow-“

 _“_ Amazing _”_

 _“_ I don’t know what he said but like… whoa-“

“So cool-“

Uh.. Jake is honestly kinda confused.

This is just… how he talks? It’s not that special, right?

Jay leans in. “I kinda speak English as well, so like that wasn’t so special or anything!! But that was sweet as hell, dude.. you seem pretty cool as well.” He whispers in Jake’s ear, everyone else still talking excitedly. “Yo, suss Sunghoon right now though, I think you broke him with your accent HAHAHA-“

Jake looks over at the boy and _oh my god-_

The boy looks like he’s malfunctioning.

Sunghoon is glaring holes into the table, eyes blown wide enough that they could pop out of their sockets. Gross description, yes, but accurate. 

Jake tries to get his attention, but the boy is dead to the world right now.

He watches for a few more seconds before Heeseung takes notice of him staring. He turns, leaning into Sunghoon’s ear and whispers something inaudible, jolting him out of his zone before he lets out the most nervous, chaotic laugh Jake has ever heard. _Hmm_. _They seem close._

Everyone pauses and looks over at Sunghoon, who just looks flustered.

“Haha.. yea… uhh- Right, so… ha-“ He trips on his words, clearly not enjoying the attention on him right now.

“ **OKAY**!!” Jay cuts in aggressively, everyone’s attention flocking to him at the loud outburst. “How about we keep going with the introductions?!?!?? YEAH… COOL…” Jake has to laugh… Jay’s attempt to save the situation is just so… embarrassing. _I love it._

“Yeah! Sure.” One guy speaks up. Again, this guy looks very tall even from sitting down. But he’s also so babyfaced, Jake thinks he must be one of the youngest guys here. “Uh, my name is Daniel! It’s really nice to meet you all!” He smiles sweetly before bowing in his seat.

“Aw, he’s so sweet… Wait, you totally skipped me!!” Jay cuts in.

“HAHAHAHA-“  
“Omg, don’T INTERRUPT, JAY-“

“I can’t believe you’ve done this-”

“SERIOUSLY BAHAHA-”

The introductions are just devolving into a hot chaotic mess.

Everyone is just laughing and yelling over each other right now and honestly..

Jake is thriving.

_This is great. I know we’re all here for our dreams, but…. I hope that we can all become close as well._

—

Into the I-Land, huh.

This song… it’s a bop. It was written for them.. ABOUT them, and their dreams. Like wow. These lyrics.. they still hit different, even after they’ve heard and rehearsed the song like hundreds of times. AND they all have their own parts… they’re really going to perform it together on that ~~cursed~~ cool moving stage…

Like a real group.  
Jake is so freaking excited.

He’s just lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. He can’t really sleep yet.

He’s been struggling to sleep properly these past few days. It almost doesn’t make sense. He’s so exhausted. Practice is exhausting, of course. It always has been.

He's probably spent like… 14 hours in that practice room per day since they got the song?

That’s fine though, they do need to work hard to put on a great performance. It’s all part of it.

But he can’t sleep.

He’s so exhausted yet he can’t sleep.

There’s just so much to mull over, it feels like anything and everything is weighing on his mind now.

“Uh.. Dude, you got beef with the ceiling or what? You’ve been glaring at it for like 10 minutes..” Nicholas asks, standing in the doorway. “Sunghoon, are you seeing this? Please tell me you’re seeing this….” He walks into the room and stops next to Jake’s bed. “Really, look at him! On one hand, I am concerned, but on the other hand it’s 2am, the performance is tomorrow, and I’m just not sure if I wanna deal with this particular brand of clownery right now-“

Jake groans. “You’re so dramatic. I’m just LYING HERE minding my business, zoning out with my thoughts. Like, let a guy be emo PLEASE-“

Sunghoon just laughs from his bed. “Yah, Jake, don’t bottle up everything on your mind. Nicholas is right, it’s scary and I know for a fact you’ve been having these staring contests with the ceiling for the past THREE days, I’ve seen it.”

“You’ve seen it? What, are you just watching me in the late hours of the night, is it? How can you even see?”

“Sigh, I don’t need my methods scrutinised, please. Anyways, why is the light STILL on? Nicholas???” Sunghoon asks.

“ARRRGGGHH. NO. I’m NOT getting up, I literally just got into bed-“ Nicholas whines, snuggling under the blanket for dramatic effect.

Jake laughs. This guy, seriously, unintentional comedic genius. “But you were the last one up??? WHY DIDN’T YOU turn it off?”

“Sorry, I was too busy cONCERNED FOR YOU-“

“Cmon now, that’s weak, Nicholas. It’s not Jake’s fault you left the light on. Come on now, you’re the oldest, take SOME responsibility-“ Sunghoon says mockingly. Jake just bursts into laughter. _This guy, we’re really just on the same wavelength, huh._

Nicholas gets up begrudgingly. “I hate it here. You guys ALWAYS team up against me and for what?” He marches over to the light switch and aggressively flicks it off. Jake and Sunghoon just giggle under the warm covers of their beds.

Jake keeps looking at the ceiling, eyes adjusting to the sudden darkness thrust upon him. He hears Nicholas violently stomp back towards his bed, a few ruffling sounds, and then mostly silence.

“But Jake, seriously… is everything.. ok?” Sunghoon’s voice cuts through. “You can talk to us, you know.”

“He’s right.” Nicholas agrees.

“Yeah… I’m just worried.” Jake talks into the darkness. “These past few days, everything’s been so divided. I don’t expect everything to be fun all the time.. of course. But with everything that’s happened, it feels as if we’re not really.. cohesive right now? Those group meetings felt so… off. I just want for us all to give a good performance tomorrow, so we can all stay here together.”

“I get what you’re saying. The centre situation was messy, but I think we’ll be ok. We all just want what will be best for the team, you know that. I think we can really do well. Besides, we look great in the practice room, don’t we? Well, I know I do.” Sunghoon jokes. _He’s not wrong though._

“Pfft, we can’t all look like you, Sunghoon.” Jake rolls his eyes. “But I am excited. To be honest, I think that’s what’s keeping me up every night. I kinda can’t wait to be on stage again.”

“Same. There’s really nothing like it, huh. I can’t believe- wait. Is Nicholas asleep already? Oh my god-“ Sunghoon gasps. “Here we go, listen..”

Jake focuses for a sec. And then the thunderous snoring blares through his ears. One thing he’s learned from the past few nights, Nicholas snores extremely loud. Like, how is it possible for these sounds to come out of an unconscious human boy? It's simply not adding up.

“I’m so jealous.. honestly. He’s out like a light every time..” Jake comments.

“Right? Wish that was me. Anyways, seriously though. I can tell there’s more on your mind that you’re not saying, which is fine. I respect that. But I can tell when you’re going through it, yea? Please don’t feel like you have to go through this by yourself.. I guess. I don’t know. I just. I get it, you know?” Sunghoon rambles.

Jake smiles. “Yeah, I know. Thanks, by the way. Talking about it really helps, huh.”

“Right? Ok, for real though, we should get some sleep. Tomorrow is kinda important, you know. Just a little.” Jake can hear the playfulness in Sunghoon’s tone.

“Yeah, yeah. I guess it sorta matters, right? Might be good to get unconscious and actually, you know, rest a bit for it, I guess?” He quips back.

They both laugh softly. _We’re such dumbasses._

“Nah, nah. For real though, goodnight Sunghoon.. Thanks again, really. It helps.” Jake says, eyes slowly starting to close by themselves.

“Yeah, goodnight Jake. Get some rest.”

Those are the last words he hears before he drifts off to sleep, thoughts comforted by a boy who always seems to know how to ease his mind.


	4. i hate it here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiya guiz! the concept trailers have me COMPLETELY BAMBOOZLED OML vampires and werewolves? ugh we luv to see it enhypen :DD
> 
> hope u enjoy this update!
> 
> a cheeky sunghoon pov towards the end too! let me know if u want more of his perspective too!?!?!/  
> as always, a comment is rly greatly appreciated and any feedback u may have is WELCOME !! 
> 
> <3

They’re getting into position. Jake’s mind is like a chaotic concoction of excitement and nerves at the moment, so he is ONCE AGAIN trying to simply not have any thoughts. Head empty, please.

That soft guitar intro starts blaring through the speakers. Ok.

He starts to dance, moves marked with precision that the hours upon hours of practising the past week have thrust onto him.

Jake’s individual role isn’t the biggest, so he needs to focus more on blending well with the rest of the group. But he also has to make sure he stands out to those watching as well. He can’t help but think of the words uttered to him on his last monthly eval before coming here.

_“Sometimes you won’t have the most lines or centre time in a performance. But you should use what you get and make your presence known in those moments when the spotlight is on you. It doesn’t matter if you get 2 or 20 seconds to yourself, if you are a performer, you’ll DO something great with it.”_

Jake can do this.

The chorus hits. It really feels different.

Performing together in a group, all dressed up and moving in sync, it’ll never be boring to him.

But to be doing all this to a song created just for them? Their song? Finally being able to show what they worked so hard for?

It’s unreal.

He hopes it’ll feel just like this every time.

That he’ll even have more times doing this.

Jake puts his all into every move. He needs to show his best to the judges, to the cameras, to the world… to himself.

It’s almost time for his line. 

He gets into position and-

_Oh. Shit._

The mic. The mic falls. Just as he’s about to sing.

  
Jake’s mind goes blank.

-

_Ok._

_Just keep moving._

It’s all he can bear to do right now.

_I missed my ONE line._

He can’t even begin to think about anything else. He can’t even focus.

The song is nearly over.

_Just get through it. Can’t do much else._

He’s so disappointed in himself.

——

_“The test results will be announced. First, the elimination standard. The average of all individual scores combined is the team score. And the team score will determine the number of dropouts.”_

Jake feels sick. He hopes his error didn’t bring down the group..

_“The individual scores will be announced randomly. And the dropouts will be determined by your vote.”_

Voting, again? This is really.. the worst.

They’re all sitting in their assigned chairs. Jake just stares at the screen and prays no-one tries to talk to him right now. They all definitely heard - or rather, didn’t hear his mistake. This is so embarrassing.

_“From now on, the Signal Song test, Individual scores and team score will be revealed.”_

_“47.”_

Huh? Everyone in the room gasps.

_“70.”_

That’s not too bad…

_“40. 66. 61. 58. 46. 75. 59. 67. 57. 65.”_

Jake can physically feel the energy sap out of the other trainees faces as the scores are read out.

_We did so much worse than expected._

_“Average team score: 59. According to the test results, only six I-Landers have survived.”_

Jake looks around. Everyone is in shock. Eyes blown wide open and glazed over. Jays head is in his hands. Geonu’s expression is complete confusion.

_“Please eliminate 6 I-Landers.”_

And there it is. Jake knows he’s going to the Ground. He deserves to, from that performance. The room is silent.

“I didn’t think there’d be 6 of us leaving..” He says, really just to break the awkward tension in the room.

“Me neither..” Daniel looks devastated.

“This is so hard.” Heeseung pouts, staring holes into the floor.

_Really…. It’s time to go pack my things, if I’m being honest with myself._

He shuts his mind off as he and the other trainees make their way back upstairs.

Some are going to check their scores, others to go eat something before the elimination.

Jake just guns straight for his room and flops down onto the bed, face down in the pillow.

Can he breathe? Not really.

Does that matter? No. The pillow smells nice, anyway.

It’s times like these where he wishes he had his phone so he could just blast his sad music, curl up under the blankets and not speak to anyone for like.. 10 hours. He could also use one of his mum’s godawful but wholesome memes. Or a big hug from Leila…

“Hey, Jake, I brought you some of that lychee jelly you like, do you wanna shar- Oh. Why are you on my bed?” Jake’s head SHOOTS up from the pillow aggressively fast, turning to make eye contact with Sunghoon, who’s holding about 20 mini packets of jelly and looking confused as hell, then back to the bed he’s still lying on.

_Oh my god, how did I not realise I jumped onto Sunghoon’s bed? What is wrong with me?_

“Oh my god, I’m sO SORRY I SWEAR- I didn’t even notice.. I just kinda came in here feeling extremely emo and wasn’t paying attention…. I know that sounds so dumb but like legit…” Jake completely fumbles his way through his explanation, getting off the bed hastily.

Sunghoon just laughs him off. “Nah, I don’t really care, it’s alright. But like.. take your shoes off!! I don’t know how you Australians do things, but like seriously, no shoes in the bed.” He gets on the bed, back leaning against the bed-frame and dumps the jellies next to him. “Now hurry up and eat these jellies with me.”

Jake begins taking his shoes off. “Um, don’t bring my home into this. That was on ME, you caught ME lacking because I was feeling emo. Still am, if I’m being honest.” He says before sitting next to Sunghoon on the bed, leaving space for the jellies between them. He opens one of them and pops into his mouth. “Mmm. These really have no business being as good as they are, how did you manage to grab 20 of them? Doesn’t Heeseung guard these with his life?”

“Are you underestimating my skills?” Sunghoon smirks. “I’ll have you know I fought tooth and bone for these, sacrificed my all in exchange for these jellies-“

  
“Pfft. Is that just code for ‘I ran into there before everyone else and took the entire bag’?” Jake shakes his head. _This guy, trying to sound cool for what?_

_..It’s really sweet of him to remember I liked these though._

Sunghoon waves him off. “I don’t need my methods scrutinised, thanks. Besides, Heeseung has a soft spot for me so it’ll be fine.” _Oh? Interesting._

They fall into a comfortable silence, sitting there and eating jellies. Seriously, Jake is absolutely scarfing them down. Yes, he WILL probably feel sick later, but that doesn’t matter right now. Sunghoon really just came here to comfort him.. again. Jake doesn’t know how to feel…. How he should feel. It’s scary how good he is at making his mind feel at ease. _It feels like he knows exactly what I need without even needing to ask. Even just his presence is so… relieving? I just-_

“ **GUYS-** “ They both jump at the loud noise. Daniel peeps his head through the doorway. “ **WE ONLY HAVE LIKE, HALF AN HOUR LEFT HAVE YOU PACKED AND VOTED!?!?!** ”

Jake gets up. “Oh YIKES, we better move. I need to get ready for Ground, I’m definitely going there so-“

“Hey, don’t talk like that. We don’t know what’ll happen. If either you or I get eliminated, we’ll come back, ok?” Sunghoon reassures him.

“Ok.” Jake nods. _He’s right. We’ll just come back._

Daniel comes running into the room and wraps them in a huge hug. “I just really wanna hug you guys, you look sad.”

_This boy is so sweet._ “Naw, Daniel, we’re alright! Really, I need to get packing anywa-“

“WAIT.” Daniel cuts him off suddenly. “Oh my gosh, Jake, has anyone ever told you you’re like super tiny? How did I not notice this before….” Jake screams.

Sunghoon bursts out into laughter.

_I_ _hate it here._

Jake holds on just a little bit tighter.

_I’ll miss it though_.

-

_I would really rather be anywhere else right now._

Jake clicks his profile on the touch screen in front of him.

He immediately wishes he hadn’t.

An obnoxiously large 40 flashes up on the screen, loud and invasive.

Taunting, almost.

Of course, Jake isn’t really surprised by this result. Still crushing to know he got the lowest score though. This is really… not the start he wanted.

Well.. at least it’ll be good to go to Ground and get some experience, he thinks. _Maybe I can improve there and come back again._

_I need to do better than this to deserve a place here._

\- 

“I’m so nervous for everyone, really..” Heeseung says. “Sunghoon, how do you look so cool and refined right now?” He asks, throwing an arm around the boys’ shoulder.

_Do I really look like that?_

_HA._

_I feel like I’m going to be sick._

Sunghoon’s score wasn’t bad, no. But was it good? Also no. He scored somewhere in the middle. Just like always. Not bad, but not great either.

Perhaps the worst part of becoming a trainee is getting used to that feeling of not being at the top anymore.

See, it took practically his entire childhood of training to get where he was in ice skating. And he was right up there. He loved that feeling, sure. It feels great to be GREAT at something.  
But when he sings, dances, performs…. Wow. He’s always left yearning for more. Even though he’s not the best, nowhere near the best right now…. It never feels like he can get enough of it. It’s the harder choice, yeah. His parents made sure to let him know of that. But something about it makes it feel so much more worthwhile.

“Hmm. Well I can tell you sincerely that I do not feel cool or refined right now. Actually, I’m getting prepared to directly fling myself into the freaking sun, really.” Sunghoon chuckles nervously, looking down at the floor.

“It’ll be ok, you did really well!” Heeseung tries to encourage. _He flatters me, to be honest._ It’s nice to be told these sorts of things, of course.

As long as he’s known Heeseung, he’s been the type of person to let everyone know they’ve done well, that’s just who he is. He has a kind heart.

But being told this sort of thing from him is like…. it’s almost like taking an exam, getting a 70% and being told “that’s so good” from someone who got a 95%. It’s just…

_We are not in the same position here._

Sunghoon doesn’t really feel that secure. His spot really depends on everyone else’s perception of how he performed, since for SOME reason they can’t just look at each others’ scores.

Why can’t it just be simple.. more objective? Based off the numbers. Trainees with the 6 lowest scores go to Ground. That would be fairer.

_But… that would be hypocritical of me, wouldn’t it?_

Yeah.

If he’s being honest with himself, he didn’t vote objectively earlier. He doesn’t really know what happened.

_I got in the voting chamber and like… I just… I knew that based off the performance, I should have voted him…._

But he didn’t. He couldn’t? Maybe. Sunghoon doesn’t know. It’s not fair, he knows. He shouldn’t let friendships affect the voting, he knows.

  
It just, felt wrong.

And maybe Sunghoon doesn’t want him to go. He just.. gets it.

_I don’t know, I just… don’t make friends like this often and it just feels important._

It’s really not simple.

_“I will now announce the 6 trainees leaving for Ground.”_

Sunghoon keeps his eyes on the floor as the name and no. of votes are called out.

_This sucks. Even Jay is leaving…_

Five names have been called. Sunghoon just knows who the last name will be, but it still doesn’t prepare him.

_“Jake. 11 votes.”_

Sunghoon’s head shoots up instantly. His mouth drops.

Eleven? But he didn’t…

_Oh my god. You’re kidding._

Sunghoon looks over at the boy. Jake is already moving towards that stupid egg. He goes and stands next to Jay, turning around to face the 6 I-Landers left behind in the building.

_He voted himself off? This is happening way too fast, what the hel-_

Jake’s eyes find his and he just.. smiles at him and wow it kinda feels like time just… stops. He lifts his hand and waves at Sunghoon.

Sunghoon finds himself waving back before he knows he’s even raised his hand.

Seeing him like this, somehow Sunghoon feels at ease. Jake looks… determined. His eyes aren’t cast over with that same sadness from earlier in their room.

_I can trust him. He makes me feel like I can trust in what he’s doing._

The egg starts spinning. Sunghoon is about to turn away as well when he catches Jake mouth something to him. 

"We'll come back."

He smiles. _You better._


End file.
